So three and a half weeks ago I started training for the San Diego marathon. I haven't run consistantly in the last 7 or 8 years, and the last year has probably been my least active year ever. A normal person would be like "I'm going to start exercising three times a week for 30 minutes." But using my usual form of problem solving, I decide to train for a marathon.
It all started with a plan to run the half marathon that will be held in Tucson on March 17th. But then I made plans to go to Seattle for that weekend. My friend Jenne has been planning on San Diego for a while now, and she asked me if I wanted to do it. I asked if they have a half, but they don't. She said "think about it."
So a few weeks later I realize we are closing in on 16 weeks away, and I start to think about it. Mostly I think it is a completely crazy idea. But then I think about El Tour, and how that was a completely crazy idea too, but I still did it. So I start looking for marathon training books, and I find A Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer. The running schedule looks reasonable. But what hooked me was the first chapter, which focused on developing an internal locus of control, or in non-psychobabble, developing the belief that you can do anything you set your mind to.
That is an issue I struggle with a fair amount, and for some reason, it seemed like the marathon was what I had been looking for. I have reasonable expectations. I don't think running one marathon is going to fix all my problems or cause me to never doubt myself again. But I think on many levels, it is what I need. I need to prove to myself that I *can* do this, that despite all the reasons I think I will fail at this, I can complete a marathon.
So this week's mental assignment is to start thinking of yourself and referring to yourself as a marathoner. Honestly, I have my doubts. I missed some training runs due to illness, and some others when Jackie and Mason visited. I was tempted to quit, feeling like I had missed too much training. And then I calmed down, I refocused, I read this week's chapter. And now I am hesitantly committing to "I am a marathoner." I don't believe it yet, but I'm going to say it anyway. I am a marathoner!
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2 comments:
OMFG, we are apparently in sync. I've been training for the MS150 for the same reason - just to demonstrate to myself that I can overcome stagnation and make myself do anything. I think once you've convinced yourself success is guaranteed, it gets a lot easier to sign up for things. Like, I'd love to lose some more weight, but it all feels so nebulous that I kind of never do it. If I really did out a plan and figured out "It will take this kind of calorie restriction and this kind of exercise, and if I do that, I am guaranteed to lose 10 pounds in the next 2 months" then it seems less terrifying.
I have been struggling with purpose in life, recently, and the conclusion I came to is that when purpose shows up, I should try to be a in a position to seize the opportunity, so I'm starting to save cash diligently for the first time in my entire life, as well as get in better shape, both so that I'll have the means to take advantage of opportunities (i.e. not being stuck in one place for lack of savings to float me) and also just so I'll have more experience in Doing Hard Things (tm) (and succeeding.)
Good luck!
Hey, when are you coming to Austin?
Thanks guys! It really is amazing the cycle of positive thinking you can start and get going. I ran my first ten miler yesterday (special thanks to Ted who slogged through it with me) and it was not the best run of my life, but I felt so accomplished afterwards.
Brian, I read about your MS150 training, and I guess I don't find it particularly surprising that we're doing it for many of the same reasons. Not sure when we'll be in Austin next (summer? that sounds like such a bad idea.) but we should definitely ride together - our pace is pretty comparable and I love to see places by bike.
Erik, I thought of your words of encouragement as I slogged around Green Lake three times yesterday. It was raining and sorta cold and I was pretty impressed that I got myself out for a long run while I was on vacation. It was hard but oh so worth it. I do a little cheer for myself every time I finish a run, and I feel so good about life I don't even bother with being embarrassed by how silly I look.
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